The idea's grown on me, I guess. Maybe not the whole big ceremony of it, the- parading of our- of lives out in front of everyone. But the concept- I dunno. I like... [A beat. He breathes in, slowly. Out, slower.] There's something about the permanence of it- not really permanent, I know, divorce is obviously a thing, but the commitment of it- the fact that someone could look at my hand and know that someone- loves me, I guess, without knowing anything else about me.

[He looks vaguely uncomfortable even putting it into words, but Egon probably deserves to hear this. Even if he won't know what to say about it.]

There's something about that that I can't really give up on. Even back in New York. I knew it wouldn't really be possible. Closest thing would've been getting hitched to Dana and us really pushing the beard thing, but then there'd probably be unnecessary media attention, and neither of us really wanted to go through with it. Either someone- or someones- we really loved, or not at all.

It's stupid. But I couldn't give up on it, then, and I can't- I can't, now. Not when it's...

[Possible. Plausible. Doable.]