Dr. Peter Venkman (
neverstudied) wrote2018-12-24 11:04 pm
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Victory Road IC Inbox

"Hey, this is Dr. Peter Venkman- I'm probably busy. If you're calling about something stupid done by a Dr. Egon Spengler or a Dr. Ray Stantz, I'm sorry for whatever they did. Leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."
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Venkman, however, does- his face crumples in mild disgust as the shrimp is shoved into his face. He's about to tell Egon to get her away from him when his words sink in.]
You named her...?
[His whole demeanor changes, and he gently plucks Doc out of Egon's hand, holding her up above him.]
Doc Holliday shot me once!
[He sounds way too delighted about that.]
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Egon, on the other hand, looks even more excited at what Venkman said.]
You met the ghost of a famous lawbringer? That's incredible. [A pause as Egon frowns.] Why was he shooting at you?
[He adjusts his grip so that he's now holding the Venipede in both hands. The Venipede glances around the room as his stern gaze settles on the rowdy mammals in the room. He lets out a small squeak as though to tell them to calm down.]
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Yeah! On the 100-year anniversary of the shooting at the O.K. Corral, the ghosts of Wyatt Earp, his brothers, and Holliday came back to life to re-enact the fight. We got called to deal with them.
[IE: Venkman heard the name "Dewey LaMorte" and went ham and dragged his partners to Tombstone, Arizona without a second thought.
Venkman pauses for a moment, thoughtful.]
I think their ghosts assumed we were the Cochise County Cowboys. I know some of the ghosts we've dealt with have gotten confused like that. Or they just didn't care and were willing to try to kill us regardless of who were.
They tried to shoot all of us- but they didn't have guns, they had spectral bullets they shot with their fingertips. Like- [He mimes shooting with fingerguns.] ... Also, I cheated them at poker, but to be fair, they cheated me too.
[The mammal crew seems entirely unphased, except for Tarantula, who's just interested in Egon. Cue squeaky mewl as she runs up to his side.]
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That sounds incredible that you were even able to witness such an event. And the spectral bullets--what were their effects on you? I would assume they would just be concentrated psychokinetic energy--or maybe electrokinetic--did you happen to get a read on their attacks?
[Egon sets the Venipede on the ground to scratch Tarantula behind the ears, still rambling. The Venipede starts slowly moving towards Venkman, squeaking and calling out to Doc. Doc glances over to him, then clambers over onto his back. She grips one of the Venipede's antennae in her smaller claw and makes a small "tsk" noise, as if to encourage him forward. The Venipede begins to move in a slow circle, with Doc at the reins.]
They must've been stuck in some sort of memory loop, as ghosts do. Had you not dealt with them, they would have continued to harass the population every hundred years or so.
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[He doesn't sound too bitter, at least. After all, sure, he got shot to pieces, but he got shot by Doc Holliday and the Earps. That makes up for a week or two of pain.]
Still better than real bullets, though. Real bullets probably would've killed us.
[It's right around then that he glances down.]
... Oh my God. She's a little cowboy with a trusty steed. Egon, I love her.
[Tarantula starts to climb up Egon's arm to reach his shoulders.]
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Literal phantom pain, then. Maybe we should test the effects of Ghost-type attacks on ourselves, see if they're comparable to the "bullets" you were shot with. Maybe see how the difference in ectoplasmic frequency affects the effect of these attacks.
[He pauses a moment, allowing Tarantula to climb up onto his shoulders, scratching her under her chin. He's become surprisingly tolerant with interacting with her.]
Ah, yes. I received the Venipede from the Legend Seekers organization after showing them my observations and records of the area surrounding Articuno's appearance. I plan to train Sir Wigglesworth to be ridden once he evolves.
[He says the name in a tone of utmost seriousness.]
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Please don't shoot yourselves for science. Again.
Should've known you'd pick a bug. My egg should be hatching soon, too-
[Aaaaand that's when the other name hits him. Venkman reels back a bit like he's just been physically hit.]
... Oh, you cannot just drop that name down in casual conversation like there's nothing weird about you saying it.
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What do you mean? Sir Vincent Wigglesworth is the leading expert in insect hormones and metamorphosis. It is only appropriate to name such a creature after him.
[Doc starts driving Wigglesworth towards Venkman's other Pokémon and clicks her claw. Howdy. Can y'all tell her what's goin' on, here?]
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[He's trying. So hard. To not just lose his shit.
Rue lowers his head to sniff at the approaching duo. He's still not great at dealing with other Pokemon, so Jodie speaks up for him- Trix wanted to play with the cats, so she and Rue are supervising.
Nermal looks up from the flower he's batting at and meows a hello. Trix settles for nodding shyly and shuffling a little closer to Rue.
Tarantula continues to chill on Egon's shoulders, purring loudly.]
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[A pause. Egon frowns, then helpfully adds:]
Again, the Venipede's full name is Sir Vincent Wigglesworth.
[Egon carefully lifts Tarantula off his shoulders and sits down, placing her in his lap. He squishes her cheeks and holds a paw in each hand, idly running his thumbs over her Beans™.
Doc taps Sir Wigglesworth so he stops, then hops off onto the ground, skittering closer to Jodie, keeping her distance from Trix. She clicks her claw excitedly--y'all know what a good old fashioned Clauncher draw is like? They don't have to use real moves, but they can pretend.]
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[That did it. Venkman's head is in his hands as he starts laughing.]
You- it sounds like a five year old named it-! Sir Wigglesworth is what a toddler would name a worm they found on the ground. You realize that, right?
[Tarantula mewls softly and tries to knead Egon's hands, her claws carefully sheathed.
Jodie tilts her head, curious. A Clauncher draw?]
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There's a long pause as Egon frowns deeper, allowing Tarantula to kneed his hands. Eventually, a look of dawning comprehension appears on his face.]
Oh. I see. [A beat. In an almost petulant tone, he continues:] Just because it sounds that way does not mean that the name does not belong to a proficient and intelligent scientist. It's a perfectly suitable name.
[Sir Wigglesworth, however, does not take the laughter quite as graciously. He turns to Venkman, his antenna twitching with irritation. He skitters over towards Venkman, head low to the ground as he forms a ball and rams right into his leg.]
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Are you gonna give that speech to every single person who ever hears you say your Pokemon's name, because I promise you, no one in the world is gonna take it seriously-
[It's a hit! Venkman yelps, pulling his leg up onto the couch and glaring down at the bug.]
Hey! It's not my fault no one will ever take you seriously.
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Sir Wigglesworth chitters angrily, then wanders back over to Egon, eyeing Venkman with ire. Egon pats him on the head, then gets right back to playing with Tarantula, patting her paws together.]
Well, no. But they'll take him seriously as soon as he establishes himself as a threat. [Like Egon in high school, when he blew up a warehouse.] Isn't that right, Sir Wigglesworth?
[Sir Wigglesworth squeaks in agreement.]
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Tarantula could care less about what's going on behind her because she loves Egon so much and she's so happy. She leans up to lick him on the nose.
As for Venkman, the sound of the bug's name is enough to start another laughing fit.]
... Yeah, okay. Sure, Egon- whatever you say.
[Once Doc and Jodie have taken a few steps back, Nermal yowls. Draw!]
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Egon, still frowning, holds up Tarantula and waves a paw at Venkman.]
Just so you know, you have disappointed-- [Gestures to Sir Wigglesworth and Tarantula.] --all three of us.
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Oh, please. Tarantula doesn't care, she'll just agree with anything you say.
[Tarantula accepts being held and gestured around, still purring. She loves her dads so much. So, so much.
... Is she glowing?]
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Of course, her encouraging speech is interrupted when she notes the glowing out of the corner of her eye and turns to face it, confused. Egon has noticed it, as well, and frowns, holding Tarantula closer to him to inspect her.]
What--
[And Egon nearly gets blinded by light.]
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The light fades, and the Alolan Persian blinks, clearly just as bemused as her trainers.
She meows. She still has the same squeaky kitten mewl.]
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Venkman. Look.
[Said in a slightly hushed voice as he gently squishes her fat cheeks. Who's a good kitty? She is!]
You are magnificent and near perfect.
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... Oh my God.
[Then, much more indignant-]
I knew she loved you more than me!
[Tarantula continues to purr, curling up closer to Egon and headbutting his chin. She then rears up on her hind legs, putting her forepaws on Egon's shoulders, and headbutts him again, mewling.]
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[Oof. His glasses sort of get knocked askew by a literal panther headbutting him, but he doesn't seem to mind it. He scratches her under her chin, then nudges his Venipede.]
Look, Sir Wigglesworth. This is what evolution is capable of.
[Sir Wigglesworth gazes up at Tarantula before squeaking. He doesn't want to be a cat.]
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Venkman gets up to come closer and pet her, rolling his eyes a little.]
So you do still like me, huh?
[Tarantula looks a little confused, but she purrs anyway. Of course she does. She loves her dads. She leans into his touch when he scratches her behinds the ears.
Nermal runs over, excited- you're big! He tries to also hop onto Egon's lap, even though there's not really any room for him.]
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I never realized how many cat-like mammals are in your possession until now. Nermal, Tarantula, Garfield....
[He frowns, still scratching Tarantula under her chin. The added weight is making his legs fall asleep.]
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[Nermal clambers up on top of Doc as gently as he can, which isn't much. Trix and Rue are both a little too wary to join, but Jodie pads after Doc, hopping onto Egon's lap gracefully. Hello. Hope you don't mind her joining this impromptu group.]
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