DEERINGTON | Inbox

[neverstudied]

[art is by wolfnoir]

"This is Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbuster. Or ex-Ghostbuster, I guess, but that depends on how ya look at things. Not like we've been short on ghosts to bust in this place. Leave a message."

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Voice UN: bazooka jane

[yodelling]

[Honesty, the only reason Jessie isn't doing this by video is in case Venkman HAS lost his marbles and he freaks the hell out about the talking doll. She learned that lesson from Will, burn her once, Deerington.]

Hey-howdy-hey. This is your afternoon check-up call to see how your noggin's doing.

[neverstudied]

My brain's seen better days.

[It at least sounds like Venkman knows who she is. He rattles off:]

My name's Peter Venkman, your name is Jessie, I'm on board this hellhole with Ray Stantz who is currently in the process of going crazy faster than I am, I'm a Ghostbuster, and my fellow Ghostbusters are Egon... Egon Spengler, and Winston Zed- something. Zeddemore? That sounds right. And Janine. Last name started with an "M"? ... And I think I'm from New York.

[It's like he's trying to recite from a memorized script, and flubbing half his lines.]

I'm also Lorenzo Fink, son of a rich asshole businessman. I blacked out for a while earlier- about three hours, I think- and snapped back out of it in the middle of a conversation with some socialite at the Bistro. No damn clue what I was talking to her about.

[yodelling]

[She listens patiently, letting him rattle off the names of people she mostly doesn't know but has memorised for his benefit. ]

Melnitz. I think that's her last name. Janine's, I mean. And yeah, you're a Ghostbuster from New York. Which sounds pretty crazy, but then I'm a sentient ragdoll from the nineteen fifties, so I reckon I've got no place to judge.

[That other stuff is worrying, and good lord she hates Deerington for doing that to him.]

Probably fancy person stuff. [She doesn't know, she wasn't designed for the upper-classes in mind. In the interest of keeping his mind on the real:] Do you remember Slimer?

[neverstudied]

Melnitz... Yeah. Janine Melnitz. Secretary. And hey, I'm a sentient human being from the 1950s. We're not that different.

[Sure, Venkman lives in the 80s, but he definitely wasn't born in the 80s.]

Whatever it was, it wasn't important. She wasn't from Deerington, so it was just- me talking with someone who isn't even real.

... Oh my God. How did I forget Slimer? Are you kidding me? [He sounds almost terrified by the realization, and it'd be almost comical if he weren't so serious.] Ok, wait. Hold everything. [Venkman starts to ramble, mostly talking to himself and sounding more and more unnerved the longer he speaks. It's hard to tell, but it sounds like he's moving around- pacing back and forth as he struggles to recall details.] The first time we met Slimer was at that... the hotel, I don't know what it was called, and he was stuffing his face at the buffet tables and sliming up the honeymoon suite. And we... caught him, and then he got out, somehow. How'd he get out? It was after the thing with the dogs. The- Gozer. After Gozer. No, wait, he got out before Gozer, because of Dickless, but we met him again after. And Winston adopted him. No- shit, Ray adopted him, and named him Slimer to get on my nerves.

[The most important part of this revelation is the fact that Venkman can't remember how Slimer wound up deeply entangled into his life, but he absolutely remembers Walter Peck's nickname.]

[yodelling]

I guess we're not, huh? Go us. And true, she's probably a... ghost or imaginary or whatever the heck the townsfolk are.

[Take your pick, Venkman- she could be literally anything. Except probably not real. She's gonna let him rant away because if he's ranting, he's remembering, which was kind of the point to the whole exercise.

She's also adding "Dickless" to the list of insults she'll probably never say out loud, but would think pretty dang hard when she's mad. Good job, Venkman, teaching the Disney character fantastic insults. When he finishes, she lets out a soft, awkward chuckle. ]

Sorry. I figured that'd get a rise outta you and you'd remember a little more. Looks like I bet right on that one. He doesn't sound real annoying though, my heart goes out to you.

[neverstudied]

Not a ghost, I don't think. I mean, I can't tell for sure without a PKE Meter- and these people could still be spectral in origin- but I don't think they're the actual ghosts of the dead people on the Titanic. They wouldn't be able to manifest in such a tangible form indefinitely.

[Look at him, actually knowing things for once.]

Thanks for that. I think. And he is annoying- we haven't known what a full fridge looks like in years. Eats us outta house and home. Slimes up everything he touches. Covers me and everything I own with ectoplasm. It's a nightmare.

[Venkman's now too busy being disgusted over Slimer to be concerned about the fact that he almost forgot Slimer. Hooray!]

[yodelling]

...I'm gonna take your word on that one. Don't know much of anything about ghosts.

[Aside from the occasional cheesy horror movie they watch while the Anderson's are asleep, anyway. She'll bow to his superior knowledge, here.]

Why does he even need to eat, that's what I'd be asking. But I'd probably not enjoy all my stuff being covered in slime, either. It don't sound like a good time. But sounds like you're stuck with him.

[It's okay, buddy, BE MAD about the gross nightmare, it's better than forgetting everything. ]

[neverstudied]

I know, I know- believe me, I know. But he's some kinda gluttony spirit, we think, so he's just always hungry. Forever.

But Ray loves him, so... [His voice softens, his tone going from bitter to fond in a matter of seconds.] Yeah, we are stuck with Slimer. It's hard to say no to Ray, y'know? Unless he's trying to do somethin' that'll definitely get us killed. We drive around a glorified hearse 'cause he thought it looked cool. We live in a firehouse because he liked the pole.

[yodelling]

Sounds pretty tragic, if you ask me. Always hungry and never getting full.

[She's guessing, anyway. She's never been hungry in her entire existence. What does that feel like?]

I think denying Ray anything would be like saying no to an excitable ten-year-old. Or a puppy. You just can't do it. [Because he's an adorable man-child and she really does love him. Despite everything, it gets a snicker out of him.] A firehouse and a hearse. That's... one heck of a combo you got there.

TOYS ONLY INBOX (text, UN: Ranger, forward dated to whenever)

[mrsnesbitt]

Good morning, Dr. Venkman.
I hope you and your friends made it back to Deerington safely.

For what it's worth, I'd like to extend a sincere apology for all that happened during that gathering in Rapture.
I won't bother you with excuses or theories, just a sorry for behaving like a pompous, shrinkwrapped idiot.

this is not an inbox it is a toybox (un: venkman)

[neverstudied]

yea its chill we were both fucked up

sorry i was a dick

[If Venkman had been a college professor in the modern era instead of the 70s, he'd have absolutely been the type to reply to a student's multi-paragraph email with "k. (sent from iphone)".

Really, though, it's not exactly chill. Venkman hasn't had much time to really think about his actions that night, but he is fully aware by now that he got in a public argument with Jessie's boyfriend (husband? Do toys get married? Do you need a toy priest or rabbi? How do you get ordained as a toy?), and wow does he not want Jessie to hear about that. There's also the lingering concern about his mind being tampered with- albeit briefly and, now that he reviews the incident in hindsight, probably unconsciously.

But regardless, this message sounds like Buzz is willing to pretend that little incident never happened, and Venkman is wholeheartedly willing to agree to that.]

wait i didnt tell you my name did i

[How'd you get this number Buzz Lightyear]

hoho

[mrsnesbitt]

It's okay. I think we both were.
No.
It's in your answering message.
Is it creepy to say I found you through Staggr? I feel like it is, even if that's literally the point of the application.
It took a few tries to find the right person.

[neverstudied]

not creepy exactly?

just weird

not used to social media yet. none of this stuff was really a thing back home in my dimension

who'd you try before me? did you like start sending out messages to complete strangers before realizing you had the wrong guy

... also really important does jessie know about all of

that

and if so do i need to change my name and try to move out of dream-maine

[Not that it'd help, since she could just follow the blue string connecting them and hunt his ass down.]

[mrsnesbitt]

Yeah, I don't exactly have social media myself back home.
It just seemed the easiest way.
I came close to most of the brunettes here, but didn't send them all messages. I think I would feel extremely weird and creepy doing that.

No.
I'm not going to tell her.
She was affected as well. Is affected, still.
I'm happy to just forget about it all, honestly.

[neverstudied]

yeah you would definitely be a lil creepy for that but on the bright side youre a plastic toy so people would probably forgive your social ineptitude immediately

if only for the novelty factor of getting weird messages online from a plastic toy

oh. i thought i felt something weird through the string we have but i was kind of hoping i was wrong

[Mostly, a vague sensation through the blue string that Jessie really needed to punch something, or break something, or yell at something...]

is she ok?

[mrsnesbitt]

[he wants to say that's the benefit of not being a person and also being kind of socially awkward but... hm. something tells him bad idea!]

She's fine.

[it's a bit of a quick answer. his typing bubble pops up again.]

I mean,
I don't know, actually. She keeps trying to fight everything, so I've been busy making up stuff for her to throw down with that won't hurt her.
Like balloons filled with cornstarch. Just so she can get the screaming and punching out her system.
I think it's something like what affected us.
She's usually pretty good at at least vaguely indicating what's upset her, if it's something tangible.
I can feel it through the string, too. It doesn't seem to have a target.

[man. he's worried. he's rambling, because he's worried. this is him trying to keep back as much as he can.]

[neverstudied]

[In hindsight, Venkman wonders if some of his anger at Buzz was due to Jessie's emotions transferring through the string; probably not, though. He's always got a temper. Which means he generally knows how to handle someone who's fucking furious.]

is there anything you normally do to distract her when she's angry, keep her mind off of things? have you tried and of that and has any of it worked, at least temporarily? or are you just throwing things at her to punch into pulp

because that would probably work to get some of the anger out of her system if she was just temporarily upset by something grounded in reality but if its like the stuff we had/have, then its probably supernatural/magical in origin

so she may NOT calm down for real unless you find a way to make her calm down thats not "encouraging her to enact more violence against balloons"

which is basically just taking her to the gym so she can really clock your head off your shoulders when she eventually turns her anger on you

[Can toys even train and get stronger? It's not like they can build muscle mass, right? God, he needs to stop thinking too hard about this.]

Text un: bazooka jane

[yodelling]

[Jessie is still very much off-kilter after Rapture. She'd kind of hoped her emotions would go back to normal once they got back to Deerington. Sure, they've always been something of a rollercoaster, but at least they changed gears from time to time. She's just been feeling agitated and angry and she kind of wants to pick a fight with everyone.

But Venkman's belt showed up in her blessings basket, just as she requested. Venkman's family and he deserves this- a promised kept. But she also doesn't trust her voice - in case she blurts something out in anger. The last thing she wants is to hurt anyone she loves. ]

I gotta keep this short because that stupid mess with the costumes in Rapture is still giving me problems.
So sorry if I'm a jerk it's hard to control and I actually hate everything.
Literally everything.
Especially this place this place is the worst and I guess I'm never going to be allowed five goddamn minutes rest in here.
Maybe we should just burn it down to the ground that'd fix a lot of our problems.

..

Anyway.
You've got a belt here with your name on.
As promised.

un: venkman

[neverstudied]

[Aw, Jessie.

Buzz had already informed Venkman of Jessie's ongoing rage, though at this point it'd be hard for him to miss. He can feel it through the string, now- a constant urge to get in a confrontation, stronger than his usual urges to get on people's nerves and throw hands. Luckily, he's no stranger to the feeling, so he's been dealing with little has transferred to him relatively well. The only thing stopping him from messaging Jessie himself has been the concern that he might set her off even more...

A concern that promptly goes out the window once he spots this message. Oh, this is sweet. Venkman honestly wasn't even expecting her to follow through on that offhand comment about the belt buckle, but the realization that she did... Really, outside of the other Ghostbusters, Janine, and maybe Dana, it's probably the nicest thing anyone's done for him in years. Is that sad? It's probably sad.

The genuine warmth this brings into his sad, dead heart combined with the side effects of his own sin from the masquerade- namely, the desperate need for companionship- has him replying immediately.]

hey dont worry about it

this place is a literal nightmare sometimes

and for the record i promise you ive still got the worse temper even if yours is like supernaturally enhanced right now

and thank you

do you want me to drop by and pick it up or do you want to be alone right now? id ask if you wanna drop by here instead but our house is a shithole and slimer absolutely will not help your temper. though youd have my permission to throw things at him

[yodelling]

[She'll be endlessly glad Buzz gave him the heads-up. No one wants a surprise angry Jessie on their hands. She's never had the calmest of temperments. Out of all of her gang of toys, she's consistently the most likely to throw down with very little provocation. This is something different, and knowing it's causing trouble for her loves ones is doing nothing to ease the anger bubbling way.

Fuck Deerington. Fuck it so much.

Still, she feels that warmth through the thread and it gives her some comfort. It tempers some of the anger boiling away.]

This place is a nightmare all the time, Venkman.
It's a literal nightmare dimension.
I don't know have you ever kicked an iguana in the throat?
I think that one tops it for me.

I absolutely do not want to fight a ghost.
Okay I kind of do but that's just the crazy and not something I actually want to do.
You can come over if you like.
If nothing else, Buzz can come save you.

[neverstudied]

i mean yea its a nightmare but i gotta look on the bright side i guess. probably would never have befriended a living ragdoll if i didnt get tossed into this place

[Venkman admitting that she's one of the bright spots of this dimension in the most roundabout way he can manage, because feelings are difficult.]

i punched a demon-worshipping cultist in the jaw while wearing a blue wizard robe covered in teddy bears

also got in an argument with a possessed coat rack once

do either of those beat iguana-kicking or do i need to dig deeper

i can come by, but first i gotta know where you actually live

i keep picturing that there's like a literal dollhouse somewhere in deerington where you all stay but i feel like that's probably not right

[yodelling]

Okay fair.
There IS that.
Likewise.

[Feelings ARE difficult, but she appreciates this a lot.]

...

Yeah you absolutely win in the weirdness competition.
What the hell, Venkman.

408 Prospero .
It's an actual normal-sized house.
That actual human people can fit into.
Because I guess nightmare realms just don't take care of us little people.
But we ended up with a teenager living there anyway so I guess it all worked out.

...Willingly.
We didn't kidnap him or anything.

text -> action?

[neverstudied]

no one can beat me in the weirdness competition

even if i lose i still have alternate universe versions of me who've experienced even MORE weird shit so i have extra chances to win

i mean hey the fact that you live in a normal-size house means that this dimension basically gave you a mansion. its all about perspective

and i wasnt under the impression that you were in the business of kidnapping teenagers but now that you've denied it im infinitely more suspicious of the possibility than i was before

[There's a significant pause between messages.]

actually im not sure how well you can read sarcasm and shit like that right now so im just gonna clarify i do not in fact think you kidnapped a teen and forced him to live in your house so please do not get indignant about me not taking you at your word. i do

i'll be there soon

[It takes him a little longer than it probably should to reach the toy's house- Venkman's still getting used to the layout of this town, and the two months he spent apart from it haven't helped. But eventually, there's a knock at the door.]

yesssss

[yodelling]

That's a terrifying thought.
MORE Peter Venkmans.
Venkmani?


Maybe we have a Snow White kinds deal where he does all our housework for us.
That's a joke.
He's sixteen, I think he's allergic to cleanliness.
Good news, my sarcasm detectors are still working.


[Because if Deerington had taken away her sarcasm... well, what would be left for her? Tragedy, that's what.

It takes a moment to open the door- mostly because it takes some choice parkour on Jessie's part to get to the door handle to turn it open. Once she does, though, the door will swing open, her dangling from the door handle with a smile that's a little strained at the edges. She's trying she really is. ]

Howdy, welcome to the teen kidnapping house.

[neverstudied]

theres at least like 6 of me out there in the multiverse, at least that ive met. probably others out there

its the kind of thing that would be existentially terrifying if i cared anymore

[As it is, a mixture of exposure, acclimation and flat-out depression have left him unable to really muster much more than a vague sense of occasional unease at the thought. A sense that his path in life is railroaded to a specific destiny, and free will is just a pipe dream; or that he's more like the film version of himself that he wants to believe.

Venkman arrives, Jessie opens the door, and Venkman holds out a hand- not outright grabbing Jessie from her dangling position, but at least offering her something to hop on to so she doesn't have to go tumbling to the floor.]

Sorry to tell ya, but if this was part of an elaborate plan to kidnap me, you failed the first step. Haven't been a teenager since Woodstock was still new.