neverstudied | Victory Road IC Inbox

[Egon pauses just a little too long as he continues to stare at the mushrooms.]

No. These are completely safe to eat.

[He scoops one out of the pan and holds it out for Michael to take. Michael carefully clutches it in his claws before shoving the mushroom under his cloth and (presumably) eating it.]

Do you mind cutting up this Pecha Berry for me? I need to make sure these mushrooms do not burn.

[...Still hasn't explained the mushrooms appearing in the first place.]

You're sure? These have nothing to do with your Parasect, these are definitely not gonna make you have a heart attack every time you see your hands...

[He does join Egon's side and start cutting the berry, though.]

What time is it, anyway?

I am fairly sure. And it is three twenty-two in the morning.

[Egon turns off the stove and goes to retrieve a plate. Lambton slithers forward a little in curiosity, sniffing at the ingredients. He then moves to munch the berry. Egon doesn't notice.]

The fishermen wouldn't let me take their Magikarp for culinary purposes. Mushrooms with anything taste good.

You're making breakfast at 3 in the morning.

... You were gonna try to cook some of this dimension's sentient animals with almost-human level intelligence. For breakfast at 3 in the morning.

[Said flatly. He glances down at the berry, gently pushing the part of it he hasn't already chopped into closer to Michael.]

Isn't this berry supposed to be, like, inedibly spicy for people?

Technically, it's not breakfast. I had ordered a box edible mushrooms to inspect the local fungi and how they compare to the fungi from my dimension. The order never came, so I ordered more, and they then found my missing order....

[A pause. Lambton happily eats the rest of the berry. Michael skitters away to hide in the corner.]

The berry is consumable in small amounts. And there are historical accounts of humans consuming Magikarp in this universe.

You're right, Egon- it's not breakfast. It's too goddamn early for breakfast, and too late for a midnight snack. I don't even know what you'd call this. A problem?

There's historical accounts of bloodletting, hysteria treatments, and treating coughs with cocaine, but that doesn't mean any of them were good ideas.

It's just mushrooms, Peter. There doesn't need to be a label on them.

[He pours the cooked mushrooms onto a plate, takes a plastic fork, and eats them even though they're literally right off the stove. He chews, frowning slightly. Michael skitters onto the table to watch, trying to avoid eye contact with Lambton.]

Hm. [A pause.] At least they're edible. I was afraid that, upon being introduced to a heat element, they'd become entirely inedible or even poisonous.

[.....]

...You- you just said they don't need a label, and then followed it up with "oh by the way they might be poisonous now, didn't bother to check"-

Jesus, why did the paparazzi always think you're the smartest of everyone at the firehouse?

[Egon pauses, looking towards Venkman and raising an eyebrow. Surely, he doesn't have to spell this out for him?]

You know I have two PhDs. Holding a doctorate or higher equivalent usually means one is more intelligent.

[Lambton yawns, wrapping himself around Venkman again before closing his eyes and resting his head on top of Venkman's hair. Don't worry about it. Michael slowly skitters to the edge of the table, staring at Venkman but still slightly intimidated. He makes a curious hiss and extends a claw, tapping it against the table.]

Ah, by the way, I've come up with a name for the Mimikyu you graciously gave me. His name is Michael Myers. For some reason, he doesn't enjoy socializing with other Pokémon or interacting with them, but enjoys human company.

I also have two PhDs, you idiot. And I don't cook possibly poisonous mushrooms at 3 in the morning barely a couple days after a tripping on shrooms.

[He accepts Lambton's change in position for now, too focused on being unnecessarily rude over getting woken up in the middle of the night because of mushrooms.]

Really? Jason Voorhees was too on the nose, huh?

Jason Voorhees?

[He stops for a moment to think about it.]

Oh, I see. Kirby being compared to the murderous mother of Jason Voorhees. You know, I don't understand the Hollywood fascination with characters engaging in m--sexual intercourse in non-ideal situations. Though I suppose it mirrors trends I have observed previously in real life.

[Egon sounds...far too amused for someone who just acknowledged the fact that one of Venkman's Pokémon would probably kill him, if she could. He eats another mushroom nonchalantly. Michael tilts his stuffed head to the side, climbing down from the table and tugging on Venkman's pants, trying to get his attention.]

It's Hollywood, man. Sex sells and all that jazz. And with horror and sexuality in particular, there's a lot of theories on the effects of that pairing on human psychology. Both the possible desensitization for audiences to graphic sex and violence, and whether or not those things are subconsciously connected in people's brains.

[Thinking about this for too long just reminds him of Bill goddamn Murray in the Ghostbusters movie and how Dana gets treated in the film, and he scowls.]

Anyway-

[That's when Venkman feels the tug on his pants leg, and he glances down.]

[Egon wrinkles his nose in disgust.]

Hollywood is a sham.

[The plate of mushrooms has disappeared by now. Egon goes to inspect the boxes of (dried) mushrooms (because it makes no sense for people to ship mushrooms that haven't been dried).

As for Michael, well...he tentatively reaches up with both claws as though he wants to be picked up. It's safe now that Lambton is asleep, right? No need to interact with the Dragonair if he doesn't want to.]

Sure is.

[His expression softens a little at Michael, and he leans down, careful not to jostle Lambton too much, and picks up the baby.]

Hey, kid. How do you like your dad so far? He hasn't tried messing with your cloak, has he?

[Venkman gives Egon a look as he says this, which essentially translates to "if you HAVE messed with the disguise, i'll tell Kirby".]

[Michael pauses, then shakes his head, reaching up and poking Venkman's face with his claw. Dad's been okay so far. All he's really done is get these mushrooms and make them. The mushrooms have saved him from being closely examined...so far. And probably the threat of messing with Kirby's child.]

Mi-mi.....kyu.......

[Egon puts the now empty dish in the sink, dusting off his hands and turning to face Venkman. Just as he opens his mouth to speak, Lambton lets out a yawn and rolls his head to the side. Michael lets out a startled squeak, nearly falling over as he tries to wriggle out of Venkman's grasp. Egon rushes over to help, a concerned expression on his face.]

Michael--Michael, he's asleep. He can't hurt you.

[Michael doesn't want to listen--who cares if Dad gets scratched in the process?]

Good. You let me or Kirby know if Egon does anything to freak you out, alright?

[Venkman winces at the sudden tantrum as shadow-y claws dig into his skin. He kneels on the floor and tries to gently place Michael down a good distance from Lambton, still gently holding the Mimikyu. Michael can probably pull himself free at this point, but Venkman's trying to calm him down instead.]

Hey, hey- it's alright, little man. Nothing's wrong, Lambton's chill, it's ok- you're ok... See? Lambton's still asleep, and even if he wasn't, I promise, he wouldn't want to hurt you. Ok?

[Idly, Venkman wonders when his life turned out like this- thirteen foot long snake wrapped around his body like a fashion accessory, trying to calm down a baby ghost in a kitchen at 3 in the morning while Egon eats his weight in mushrooms.]

[Michael seems to calm down a little, but he's still trembling like a leaf. Lambton blearily blinks his eyes open and stares down at the Mimikyu, tilting his head to the side in curiosity. Michael freezes, staring right back at Lambton.

...He doesn't seem to want to move at all. After a moment or two, Egon gently pries Michael from Venkman's grasp and away from Lambton.]

Please calm down.

[Said with a slightly desperate tone of voice. Michael seems to calm down a little, but not because Egon said something, but because he's further away from Lambton. He ends up sinking into Egon's arms and trying to make himself look as small as possible. Egon sighs, then looks towards with a concerned expression on his face.]

Are you alright? [A pause.] I apologize, I'm...not sure why he acts in this manner around other Pokémon, but not around other people. Isn't his species supposed to shy away from humans?

Jesus.

[Venkman sits back heavily, now sitting cross-legged on the floor of the kitchen.]

Normally I'd think it'd be a trauma thing, but we've been around him since the moment he was born, and I can't think of anything that might've messed him up. [A beat.] Aside from you and Ray tripping balls the day he was born, but that's probably unrelated.

[He pats at Lambton's snout, thinking.]

It could just be because Lambton's so overaffectionate and Michael's reluctant to be touched by others, but you said this happens with all Pokemon, right?

Oh. [He glances at his hands. One scratch on his arm is bleeding a little, but overall it's nothing too bad.] Yeah, I'm fine. How's he look?

[Normally he'd take the chance to whine and complain, but baby takes precedence. And Kirby would kill them both if he dared neglect Michael's concerns for half a second.]

[Lambton rubs his head against Venkman's hand, making a strange, low buzzing sound that sounds almost like purring? Egon frowns, then also sits on the ground next to his partner. He doesn't really think about it--he just wants to be next to him.

Spengler glances towards Michael, who's still a bundled up mess in the crook of his elbow.]

He seems... [He hesitates a moment.] ...calmer?

[He frowns, resting his chin against his hand. Michael stays still, though he does turn a little to stare at Venkman silently.]

I hate to say this, but maybe we're thinking too deeply about this. It could be he was intimidated by Lambton's large size and, being a smaller creature, was intimidated by him. Like how many humans are intimidated by large snakes despite them not posing a large threat to them. [He shrugs.] Alternatively, this could just be...his personality. I guess.

[personality: anxiety?]

[Venkman starts to move over so he can lean against Egon, but stops, realizing that bringing Lambton closer to the scared Pokemon isn't the smartest idea. Slightly disappointed, he just reaches a hand out for Egon's, the other hand still patting Lambton.]

You might be right, yeah. [He meets Michael's eyes for a moment.] Obviously, if he is just naturally anxious, we shouldn't push him to be uncomfortable and make him interact with other Pokemon. But other Pokemon are everywhere. That's why I had so much trouble with Rue at first. It's one thing to be anxious of other Pokemon, but...

Maybe we can try to introduce him to Rue and Jodie and Trix, see if they can help him open up. Turn that little crew into a proper therapy group.

... Maybe I am overthinking this. I dunno. It's late, and I'm tired, and I don't want Kirby to stand over us in the middle of the night with a knife 'cause her kid's scared.

[Egon thinks for a moment, then pulls out a PokéBall to return Lambton to his containment unit. Maybe bench-pressing a snake for about a year might give him more arm muscles. He moves himself closer to Venkman.

Michael, meanwhile, visibly relaxes when he realizes Lambton is no longer there. He creeps out from Egon's arm and starts crawling over to Venkman in a tentative manner. The Mimikyu runs a claw over Venkman's cuts and makes a small, upset noise.]

That may work. Perhaps it might be best to introduce him to a few of my own Pokémon, as well--since he'll be interacting with them more. [He frowns, looking down at Michael.] Maybe having a comforting presence could help acquaint him with unfamiliar situations, such as Kirby or either of us? And then, eventually, he would be able to take on these situations by himself.

[Venkman rolls his shoulders after Lambton disappears into the containment unit, before leaning his head on Egon's shoulder. he holds Michael's claw when offered.]

It's fine, kid. I've had worse.

[Then, to Egon:]

Kirby'd definitely be willing, but if she's gonna be out of her containment unit more often, you'll have to be careful to not get on her bad side. More than you already are.

For now, it's probably for the best that you limit his interactions to Pokemon who actually know how to recognize boundaries and personal space; and ones that don't care about physical affection. So definitely not Lambton. Denver, maybe... the cucumber... Faraday, probably, but she might look too big and intimidating.

[Michael gently wraps one of his shadow tendrils around Venkman's hand, like a baby instinctively grasping someone's finger. Egon carefully watches, leaning his chin against his hand.]

We can see what Michael is comfortable with. [A pause.] Perhaps it is best that Kirby is not out of her containment unit while I work with Michael--

[And then Egon cuts himself off, staring at Venkman as if something had just occurred to him.]

Why are you up at three-thirty two in the morning?

[Flatly:]

'Cause Lambton wanted attention, you weren't giving him any, and he decided to strangle me awake so I'd pet him.

[Egon blinks.]

Ah.

[There's an awkward pause.]

You should...go to sleep. You are usually in a bad mood if you don't get enough sleep.

[No shit, Egon.]

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nsfw text but surprisingly clinical for him because Psychology[tm]

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