neverstudied | Victory Road IC Inbox

Well, they could have. But I like my theory better.

[He begins petting the Meowth, running his fingers through her fur and idly wiping off the stray cat hairs on his jacket. He then picks her up and places her on the nearby desk, kneeling down to dig through the drawers.]

I'm not giving him any electric shocks. Yet. [He pulls open the bottom drawer and digs out the device he rigged up during that one week when they all swapped bodies. It's become a tangle of wires in the process of being shoved into the back drawer, and Egon places it gently on the table surface, trying to untangle the mess. It sort of looks like what would happen if a robot puked on a colander.] We just need to get a solid scan, then we can come with a plan on how to deal with this.

[He hopes.]

I don't like that "yet", Egon.

[The Meowth appears surprised to find herself relocated, and sits on the edge of the desk, peering down as Egon searches. She hops into an open drawer and clambers inside the desk. It's fine.

Venkman, meanwhile, leans against the edge of the desk, nervously nibbling at the edge of his bagel as he watches Egon work.]

[Venkman is uncharacteristically quiet, so Egon decides to say something he knows Venkman won't be able to resist making a comment about. Relieve the tension.]

If it turns out he is possessed, we'll have to figure out a way to replicate the effects of the psychoreactive slime I encountered back in my dimension. That seemed to be one of the more effective ways of ejecting a possessor from its target.

[He untangles a few of the wires and reconnects a few loose ends. He then leans down to plug it into an outlet and the neural wavelength detector begins to hum quietly. Egon taps his fingers against the desk surface, clearly hesitating about something.]

[Venkman sees through the ploy instantly, but that doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate it, or that he won't take the bait.]

Hey, it'll be a nice way to wake up- like morning sex, but weird and scientific. And he'll get to have his own memories with the slime, instead of just knowing that the other version of himself slept with it.

[You literally asked for this, Egon.

Luckily, Venkman keeps his voice low enough that the newborn Meowth doesn't hear it- not that she's paying attention, because the inside of the desk is way more interesting.

He notices the hesitation and tilts his head, curious.]

What's up? Not sure it'll still work, or...?

[The corners of his mouth twitch into a slight frown, but he can't really complain, given the fact he said that purposely for Venkman to make a crude joke about.

He hesitates to respond.]

It's not that. [He lets out a sigh, continuing to fiddle with the wires, though it's clear that he's not really working to fix anything. He appears to be struggling to verbalize just what he's thinking about without making Venkman overly worried.] I am merely...apprehensive of what we might find. Or won't find.

[...And, apparently, not paying attention, he closes the drawer that the Meowth is in.]

I... yeah, I get that.

[Oh don't worry, Egon. Venkman surpassed "overly worried" a long time ago. No matter how flippant he tries to act, he's like, steps away from a full-fledged panicked meltdown. The only things keeping him together at this point are the fact that he doesn't want to freak Egon out even more in a feedback loop of growing apprehension, and the kitten.

... Wait, speaking of the kitten-]

Hey!

[The Meowth squeaks in alarm as she becomes trapped in gay baby jail. Venkman sets his coffee and bagel down and goes to reopen the drawer, freeing the kitten. He picks her up and holds her in his arms, glaring at Egon with mock-anger.]

What'd Tarantula ever do to you, huh?

Huh? I--

[He blinks, watching as Venkman picks up the cat, his hands hovering over the device.

Thank God the cat is here. They probably would've lost their minds like, ten times over if not for her.]

Tarantula? Why would you name it after an arachnid when it is clearly a mammal?

Oh, right. That's another bust you don't remember- see, we met a cat named Tarantula, she's a warlock's familiar. She and her master saved our asses a couple times... She's a black cat, pretty smart, knows how to type in English and play chess. Figured, hey, might as well name some of these lil monsters after people and things back home, and that's probably a cat worth honoring.

... Plus, I noticed you seemed to like this little kitten a lot. I know you're not awfully big on mammals, figured naming her after a species you normally like might help you accept it better.

[Venkman holds the Meowth out so it's eye level to Egon's face. Tarantula licks him on the nose.]

[Egon stares right back into that cat's cute eyes with the intensity and sobriety of a professor at MIT. At least, until she licks him on the nose. He blinks, a surprised expression forming on his face as he gently scratches her forehead with one finger.]

...Hm. I suppose so, yes. There may be scientific merit in studying a creature like this. [He sounds...almost ashamed to be liking a mammal to this degree?] Does this mean you'll be teaching her how to play chess?

[Spengler clears his throat before picking up the device and bringing it over to Ray. Gingerly, he places it over his head before glancing back at Venkman.]

Are you ready?

[Venkman smiles, laughing a little at the look on Egon's face. Tarantula mews again, her sharp little fangs glinting as she stares up at Egon with her big ol' eyes full of love. She wriggles a little in Venkman's grasp, and bats at Egon's finger.]

Scientific merit, huh?

Well, she's no magical familiar, so I dunno if she can even figure chess out. ... And- by the way- I'd rather not get her started on complex logic puzzles and quantum physics anytime soon, since she's only at the ripe old age of one hour old. So don't get any ideas.

[Venkman sobers up again when Egon stands and sets up the device. He holds Tarantula close to his chest and pets her idly as Ray gets hooked up.]

Ready as I can be.

You haven't asked her to play chess yet.

[Egon nods towards Venkman, then switches the device on. It starts whirring quietly, lights and indicators flashing every so often as Ray continues to slumber. Across the room on the desk, the neural wavelength detector has been hooked up to some sort of small printer that spits out a string of ticker tape with incomprehensible symbols and numbers. Egon makes his way back to the desk, picking up the ticker tape and peering down at it, intensely focused. Occasionally, he'll make a quiet "hmm" or "oh" as he interprets...whatever data this is.

His eyebrows furrow deeply and his mouth twists to the side.]

Hmm. His neural activity is positively explosive. His brain functions are essentially the same as if Ray were completely awake--even the frontal cortex, which is usually not active during sleeping cycles, seems to be functioning at full capacity. [He looks sharply up at Venkman.] Do you know what this means?

She's one hour old, She doesn't even know what chess is yet. She doesn't know what anything is.

[He peers over Egon's shoulder as he examines the data- Venkman may not understand a word of it, but he can tell that something about it is weird, judging by Egon's reactions. Then Egon speaks up-]

So... he's got brain waves that make more sense for someone who's awake- is this an I-Have-No-Mouth type of situation, where he's actually awake and can hear everything we say and do and just- can't interact with us? ... Jesus Christ, that'd suck.

[He looks over at Ray's unconscious body.]

Hey, Ray, if you can hear us, uh. Do something with your brain waves.

Edited 2019-02-21 05:00 (UTC)

[Egon frowns, running his fingers along the ticker tape and studying it closely. He then looks up and shakes his head.]

I don't believe he is currently aware of his surroundings. There seemed to be no change in his neural patterns. However, given that his neural patterns appear to be erratic to begin with, I wouldn't be able to confidently confirm or deny this.

[...Thanks, Egon. He scratches his chin, then presses a button on the "printer" to stop it from filling the room with paper. It hangs off of the desk and lies on the floor like ribbons.]

It's odd--even in cases of possession, the possessor leaves a very strong and unique reading that can be differentiated from its host. However, this...is just Ray functioning as a normal, healthy human being. Except that he's...in a non-responsive state.

[A pause.]

That's probably bad.

[As an aside, to Tarantula:] "Probably", he says...

[Tarantula appears unphased.]

Egon, I think everything about this little situation can be neatly labeled as "real bad" at the least.

[Venkman groans, and sits down on the edge of the bed beside Ray. He leans forward and puts his head in his hands- Tarantula hops free of his arms and lands squarely on Ray's chest.]

What're we gonna do, Egon? You've- you've gotta have some idea in that big brain of yours, right?

[His voice is a little shakier than he likes, and he tries to steady it- and himself.]

Sure, this is- another dimension's rules we're playin' by, but- there's gotta be something.

[Egon doesn't reply right away, rubbing the back of his neck. He looks vaguely uncomfortable and unsettled, which is not a good combination for anyone who knows Egon Spengler.

Right. He's the one who's supposed to come up with all the smart plans, right? Or at least provide some scientific insight, but here...he has no idea how to even proceed. If this had involved maybe ghosts or spirits of any sort, he could've maybe come up with something, but this?]

I think.... [He pauses for a moment to pet Tarantula on the head, trying to ignore the fact that Ray is literally comatose in front of them.] ....we should continue to observe him. I'll keep watching his brain pattern fluctuations--hopefully, with enough data, we'll be able to come up with a viable solution to this problem.

[Whatever this "problem" is, anyways.]

I'll need more paper.

[Venkman does not like seeing Egon look like that. That's the face of everything going to hell in a handbasket. It's also the face Egon tends to make when he has literally no idea how to deal with Venkman starting to freak out.

For Egon's sake, he forces himself to take a deep breath.]

... Right. Ok. Wait it out. For however long that'll be.

[He watches Egon pet the Meowth as his words really sink in. He laughs a little, bitterly.]

Did we tell you about the Sandman we dealt with in our dimension? He was- pretty powerful, as far as Sandmen go, apparently. Knocked most of New York City unconscious, planned to do the same with the rest of the world. He got all of us- one by one- except Winston and Janine- they busted him. But- his whole gameplan was to make everyone in the whole world sleep for 500 years straight.

And once you got knocked out by this guy, you were out. Nothing could wake you up. If they hadn't busted him...

I guess what I'm saying is- what if something in this dimension's as powerful as that? What do we even do against something like that?

[What if they have an unconscious boyfriend on their bed for the next five hundred years?]

[Egon is about to make a comment about how he won't be waiting, he'll be running as many tests as he can. He opens his mouth, then closes it as he listens to Venkman, eyebrows knit together in an unreadable expression.

He thinks it over this information for a moment, crossing his arms and staring down at Ray.]

You didn't happen to have recorded Ray's brain activity while under unnatural sleeping causes, did you? [He sighs.] Don't answer that. But perhaps literature would be the place to start--we know that there exist some form of Pokémon capable of incredible feats beyind imagination--perhaps one of them was recorded of being capable of doing this. Even if it's not exact, legends often have origins in real life.

[He leans over Ray to brush a stray hair to the side.]

Or, you could try and kiss him to wake him up. It's worth a try.

[Is it apparent that he's getting desperate?]

[Venkman manages to smile for a couple seconds at that.]

The great Egon Spengler, turnin' to fairy tales for the answers. ... Then again, wouldya believe me if I told you that actually worked, once? I broke a hypnotist's spell with a kiss on the cheek.

Can't hurt to try it again.

[He lies back on the bed so he's curled up next to Ray(and Tarantula, who is starting to fall asleep on Ray's chest). Venkman cups his face- his heart twisting a little at the lack of a response- and kisses Ray on the other cheek.

Predictably, nothing happens. Venkman smiles weakly.]

Guess Sleeping Beauty's not all that historically accurate, huh?

[Egon hadn't expected it to work in the first place? but seeing Ray not even shift at Venkman's touch makes him feel...makes him feel not good. That's as easily as he can sum up the tangled ball of emotions currently sinking in his chest.]

Not particularly. I still don't forgive the media companies for making the original story overly tame.

[He extends a hand as if to help Venkman up, but he picks up Tarantula and wraps her in his arms, nervously smoothing down her fur. It's not owning a cat unless you constantly try to bother them. He gazes down at her and says in an incredibly serious tone--]

You know nothing. You are pure, untouched by the horrors of existence. You are perfect.

Egon, did you ever read the original Sleeping Beauty? Thank God they toned it down.

[And then Egon gives his little speech to the kitten, and Venkman snorts, his laughter more genuine than before.]

I knew there was a cat lover inside you somewhere.

[Tarantula purrs and leans into the touch, mewing excitedly. She loves her dads. Or at least, the ones that give her pets. She doesn't know what to think of the one who doesn't move.]

It's never too early to be introduced to the concept of bird-fueled vengence and pecking one's eyes out. Birds are dangerous creatures.

[He's...joking, right? He pokes at Tarantula's paws.]

...I'll keep watching over Ray. I'll let you know if there are any major changes in brain activity or...if I come to any new conclusions. [He rubs at his forehead, sighing deeply.] Perhaps we could have Kölliker reach out, see what he's thinking about?

Wrong princess, Spengs. Cinderella's the one with the birds who peck her sisters' eyes out.

[Venkman can't exactly argue the "dangerous creatures" mindset, given that both his own birds have attacked him more times than he can count.

Tarantula's claws flex out and she bats at Egon's hand playfully. Venkman shuffles a little closer to Ray.]

Hey, anything's worth trying at this point. Send her out.

Was it? [Egon blinks.] My parents never read fairy tales to us as a child. Said it would encourage a belief in unscientific values.

[He gives Tarantula one last poke before moving into the living room to retrieve his bag. When he comes back, Kölliker is with him, peering curiously at the new cat. With the excitement of a small child being given a new toy, she greets Tarantula, flickering images of other cats passing through her mind.]

new baby! hi baby, I'm Baby!

[Egon watches her for a few moments.]

Kölliker, if you could--

[He doesn't finish his sentence when there's an abstract thought of affirmation sent from Kölliker. She peers over at Ray, tilting her head to the side and burbling quietly.

After a few moments of concentration, both Egon and Venkman hear what seems to be...a song in their heads? It keeps blipping out and getting sped up, making it difficult to recognize.]

[Venkman scowls for a moment.]

Yeah, well, you know how I feel about your parents and their stupid opinions. Hey, did I punch your dad's teeth out in your dimension, too?

[Egon, Ray, and Winston all independently made the decision to bring Venkman home to meet their family at least once. Each attempt ended in at least mild disaster.

The fur stands up on Tarantula's back for a moment when Ko speaks up, and she looks around, confused and startled. After a few seconds, she figures out the source of it and blinks up at Kölliker, mewling indignantly. Hey! How do you make words happen without sound! What's going on! She raises a paw to bat at Ko's cytoplasmic membrane- claws sheathed.

Venkman, meanwhile, frowns at the music.]

What... Is she- is she getting that from Ray?

You did, yes. He said I should stop associating with such people in the future. Clearly, I did not take his advice.

[Kölliker giggles a little as she's batted, spinning around slowly. The song statics out again as she tries to mentally reach for Tarantula instead. She's baby! Brain baby very smart.]

I...believe so? I can't think of any other source. It sounds almost like--

[He frowns, approaching the Solosis and gently turning her to face Ray.] Please, Kölliker. You can play with Tarantula in a moment.

[She burbles, clearly disappointed, but tunes into Ray's thoughts again. It's sort of like adjusting a really awful television set--most of it feels like static except for a few disjointed image artifacts and jumbled words. Nothing that Egon would recognize, of course. The images are intermingled with the mental emotional equivalent of scribbles on a piece of paper and make the whole thing just incredibly confusing.]

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