Victory Road IC Inbox

[neverstudied]

"Hey, this is Dr. Peter Venkman- I'm probably busy. If you're calling about something stupid done by a Dr. Egon Spengler or a Dr. Ray Stantz, I'm sorry for whatever they did. Leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

Comments

[neverstudied]

[Venkman watches this whole ordeal with growing concern, particularly once the spinning starts. Once Egon walks in, he turns his attention to him:]

Egon, did you break the Pokemon I got you for Valentine's? 'Cause I don't think there's refunds at the casino.

[His Mimikyu appears completely unphased, on the other hand. Kirby skitters over and reaches out a tendril to Q*Bert, intending to spin them in place until they're facing away from the walls.]

[ghoststanning]

[Ray was busy playing around with a Mimikyu doll with Annie when he heads all this commotion going on. He cranes his neck at the Porygon2 and frowns slightly.]

You think it’s possible they have a glitch? It sounds weird saying his about a living thing, but they are man-made...

[pkemeter]

They've had an issue with their pathfinding AI ever since they came under my care. I thought the upgrade would have patched this issue, but...I suppose not.

[Thankfully, Kirby manages to right Q*Bert and direct them in a non-obstructed direction. They turns their head to give a grateful beep at her, then glide back over to Egon. Egon pats it on the head, then walks over to join his partners.]

I've been attempting to write my own code for this creature, but I am not familiar with the language used. [A pause.] Have I missed anything important?

[neverstudied]

[Kirby hisses a "you're welcome" and skitters after Q*Bert, the head of her costume bobbing and flailing erratically as she moves. She peers up at Egon mistrustfully before returning to Annie and Ray.]

How do you even reprogram a living thing in the first place? And is it even, like. Ethical?

Well, Ray's leg is broken, but I'm preeeetty sure you were here for that. Otherwise, no, you didn't miss much while isolating yourself from the outside world. This time. Ray and I were just letting these two stretch their legs.

[ghoststanning]

[Annie makes a squeak of delight and goes to hug Kirby, as if she hasn’t seen her in awhile.]

Peter’s also torturing me by refusing to let me battle Falkned while my leg’s broken, too.

[He sticks his tongue out at Venkman before returning to Egon.]

But if you need any help in coding, I could lend a hand! Maybe the Porygon itself might know a thing or two on how to recode it!

[Ray I don’t think that’s how that works.]

[pkemeter]

[completely ignores the ethical question. Q*Bert stares curiously down at the two Pokémon, bobbing back and forth peacefully.]

Ray, it would be ill advised to do so while you're still healing.

[He adjusts his glasses.] However, the help is appreciated. I will try to spend a few more days working on it before consulting you. I didn't spend forty-five years of my life studying and learning to be bested by an extradimenional artificial being with unknown source code.

[neverstudied]

Yeah, Ray, I'm torturing ya by not letting you fuck up your leg even more. It's like Stephen King's Misery in here.

[Kirby chitters amicably as Annie hugs her. Her tendrils snake out and she picks Annie up, gently rocking her in the air a few inches off the ground. The Mimikyu makes a noise that sounds a bit like... humming? Kind of like a lullaby. But like, a lullaby in a horror movie.

It's fine.]

Well, you know I can't help with any of that, but heywaitaminute-

[Venkman sits up, staring at Egon with wide eyes.]

What did you say?

[pkemeter]

[Egon blinks, a slightly confused expression on his face. Did he say something wrong?]

The help is appreciated. [A pause. He continues in a flat tone:] I am forty-five years old.

[neverstudied]

I- you-

[He turns to look helplessly at Ray.]

Did you know-? I-

[Venkman steeples his hands in front of his face for a moment and takes a deep breath.]

Why are you forty-five.

[ghoststanning]

[Annie is shockingly really receptive to the lullaby and starts nodding off.]

It's just like Misery-

[Wait what?]

What? Spengs isn't it still the 1980's back in your dimension? When did you get to be 45?

[pkemeter]

[Immune to all this nonsense, Q*Bert floats over to watch Kirby and Annie out of curiosity, their eyes unblinking as they observe. They've never seen--or heard--anything like this before.

Spengler casts a bewildered look towards Venkman when he asks the question--how is he supposed to answer WHY he's forty-five?! His expression becomes increasingly confused as he glances between Venkman and Ray.]

Actually, when I left my dimension, I believe it was New Year's Day, 1990.

[He pauses, sitting down and scratching his head.]

Why? How old was...your dimension's Egon?

[neverstudied]

[Kirby glances up briefly at the ongoing discussion, but she cares much more about Annie. She finishes off her lullaby with little trill, and gently brings Annie close so she can hug her.]

Egon- Egon. The other you is thirty five. A whole decade younger- and I'm thirty six- you're nine years older than me-

[Venkman looks like he's about to have a fucking stroke.]

And it's not- the years between our timelines or whatever, they don't explain this, it was only 1987 for us so that's only three years...

[ghoststanning]

[Annie is just not paying to this weird adult conversation at all and sleepily cuddles Kirby.

After the initial shock wore off, Ray is honestly less concerned about all this than Venkman is, and seems to be musing this situation.]

This is weird! I know there are differences between dimensions, but this one is a really hard one to explain.

... Hey, Egon? How old are the other guys in your dimension?

[pkemeter]

A decade--

[Egon rubs the back of his head, frowning. He looks deeply unsettled as he racks his brain.]

...Ah, um. We were generally all around the same age. Early forties, late thirties.... [A pause.] If...I remember correctly, at least.

[Meanwhile, Q*Bert floats down towards Kirby and gives an inquisitive beep. What was singing for? Can she teach them how to do that? They don't seem to be paying any attention to this weird crisis at hand.]

Why would age be something inconsistent across dimensions?

[neverstudied]

Oh my God. We're all old. Why are we all so old in your universe? Am I gonna look like Bill Murray in a few years??

[Kirby keeps her voice low to avoid waking Annie back up, speaking in a crackly hiss. Annie used to have trouble sleeping all the time, so Kirby learned how to help her sleep by singing for her! Now she mostly just does it for fun, since Annie has a dad now who helps her fall asleep easily.]

Not just why- how? For the most part, we- we basically had the same experiences across dimensions, but in your world we were all born a few years earlier?

[ghoststanning]

In that case, I better magically grow a few inches within the next few years.

[Please let him be Tall.]

Amazing! I love how even all these months we're still finding weird new differences between our dimensions.

[He then pauses and stares sat Egon for a few seconds before he speaks up again.]

I gotta say, I'm impressed by your youthful face! I couldn't even tell that you're secretly ten years older than us!

[pkemeter]

[To Venkman, in a very matter-of-fact-tone:]

No, you will not. The Venkman in my dimension looked drastically different than you when he was several years younger. As for time, I...am not sure. Perhaps all the events in my home dimension had somehow shifted several years in advance.

[Youthful...face? Egon stares at Ray, rubbing the back of his neck.]

Uh, thank...you. I think.

[Hmmm. Q*Bert wants to try. They float a little closer and start making very low buzzing sounds, though each buzz has a different pitch. It's...not really a tune of any sort, but its an attempt.]

[neverstudied]

[Venkman breathes a sigh of relief.]

At least there's that.

[He shakes his head at Ray's attempted compliment, grinning weakly.]

Yeah, Spengs, you don't look old enough to be someone's grandfather.

[Now that the shock is wearing off it's time to tease his partner to death.

Meanwhile, Kirby claps her tendrils together in applause. Good job! Though try to hum in a tune rather than just making the noises independent of each other. She demonstrates by humming again.]

[ghoststanning]

[Q*Bert's attempt at singing stirs Annie slightly, but she quickly goes back to sleep, cuddling against Kirby a little closer.

Ray blinks in confusion at Venkman's comment at first, but he quickly catches on.]

You almost look old enough to be my dad, actually. You should be proud, Spengs!

[Get wrecked Egon.]

[pkemeter]

[Egon rubs at his face with his hands, sighing deeply. After a moment or two, he says:]

I suppose, given your ages, it was only natural you would fall back into this immature humor so quickly.

[Hmmm. Q*Bert blinks, tilting their head to the side as they listen to Kirby humming. The notes seem to follow a pattern, separated by predictable jumps in register and changes in key...interesting. After a moment or two, they make a noise similar to someone clearing their throat, and start humming something that sounds like a weird version of Greensleeves.

Egon is too busy being annoyed at his partners to even notice.]

[neverstudied]

[Venkman gasps in mock outrage, clutching his chest.]

I'd think insulting us like that was beneath you. Hasn't anyone ever told you to act your age?

[Hypocrite.

Kirby chitters delightedly- now you're getting it! She starts to hum again, trying to match Q*Bert's tune and turn this into a duet.]

[ghoststanning]

[Ray "whispers" to Venkman, loud enough for Egon to hear.]

You think he might be going senile? His behavior is worrying me.

[Annie meanwhile, can be heard humming softly along with the two.]

[pkemeter]

[Egon grumbles, tapping his fingers against each other.]

This senile old man can still hear perfectly well. The next time a malicious god shows up in this dimension, you can fight it off yourselves.

[Q*Bert continues to hum, occasionally pausing and adjusting their pattern. The notes sound a bit dissonant sometimes, but that's because they haven't spent enough time studying musical patterns yet. Egon blinks, realizing that the buzzing noise is not just Q*Bert operating.]

Oh. Oh! [He gestures over towards the group of Pokémon, instantly excited.] Listen! They're learning independently of pre-programmed instructions!

[neverstudied]

[In a stage whisper to Ray:]

Yep, the mind's definitely starting to go...

[Then, to Egon:]

Don't worry, Egie. We wouldn't want you fighting gods, anyway- at your age, you might die of a heart attack midway through it.

[Venkman raises his eyebrows at Egon's outburst, turning to look at the impromptu band. Kirby bristles at Egon's words, temporarily stopping to take a few steps further away from him. She picks back up to rejoin Q*Bert's humming after a moment.]

[ghoststanning]

Or have your back go out while you're fighting them-!

[Wait a minute OH MY GOD THE POKEMON ARE SINGING AT EACH OTHER!!!

Ray is instantly torn from teasing Egon to watch this, in awe like a proud father.]

This is adorable! She's teaching Q*Bert how to sing!